Saving Sidney

Preparation and the voyage

Not the most auspicious of starts, went to Thomas cook to collect my pre-ordered euros and their computer refuses to acknowledge me it says “no “when this was finally sorted by rifling through the managers, who wasn't there, life in service desk to find an admin password.

 I went on to the chemist in search of sea sickness tablets, not available ,manufacturing problems, 3 chemist later I come away with a hay fever remedy and a promise that they  will do the same job.

 Simple task next, Asda for last minute goodies, I fill my little basket and I’m heading for the check out when  the fire alarm goes off ,all the customers are sent out into the car park and here's the dilemma,  I have with me my goodies not paid for,  I know that if I don’t pay for them something awful will happen on my trip,  I compromise by eating the mars bar while I wait.

 Last challenge of the day is to avoid eating my mother in laws chicken surprise, she is 90 and a remarkable lady ,I am staying with her the night before the ferry, there are  two issues regarding the meal, despite knowing me for 50 years  she has ignored the fact that I have never eaten chicken in my life and 2  should I be  inclined to partake out of deference to her efforts I will surely die, My in Law  shops online with Waitrose, she has realised that any complaint regarding quality elicits a very favorable response,  chicken 1 was slightly over cooked,  refund and replacement sent out, now being of a generation that wastes nothing she ate said no 1 burnt chicken and is now part way through the replacement,  at least 3 weeks old,  I will tell her I have a dicky tummy, well I would've done wouldn't I?

On our way 

You wouldn't believe how my heart sank when I first laid my eyes on the scruffy little boat that was going to carry me across the bay of Biscay, 26 hours it is to take, surely this little thing will never withstand the mountainous seas we are promised, I know its going to bob up and down, and pitch and roll, and I am going to turn green.

We get underway,  the staff or is it crew, are Spanish and charming,  the atmosphere is jolly,  many calls on the tannoy to take dinner in the self service restaurant,  I'm not tempted,  I’m starving but I know what will happen,  not that I’ve given it much thought of course.

People are friendly and chatty but I feel the need to concentrate on my frailties,  I find the best way to discourage lengthy conversation is to tell people what I am up to,  they back off no doubt wondering where my carer has got to. One chap who persevered with his interrogation of my plan was most concerned that I would not have enough vigour, oh no something else I’ve not thought of.

Well in to the voyage I decide to take my travel pills,  even though I’ve not sneezed once,  you can never be too careful,  given that I am inclined toward feeling seasick, ( if Rod Stuart comes on the radio singing I am sailing, I have to sit down as it always makes me feel nauseous) hence I take every precaution.

Feeing quite well at the moment, a little light headed maybe, determined not to spend anything at the bar I sip my peach water and wonder if Sandy has packed any woodbines for the voyage.

Sleeping or  trying to, in a reclining seat is probably not the best of ideas but given that a cabin would nearly have doubled the cost of the ticket and I’m not being a martyr here  because I was convinced I would be stood on deck all night with my little brown bag and checking the condition of the lifeboats,  however I slept,  it may have been the pills,  it may have been the surreal nature of what I was doing but I had a really strange dream in which my recently departed sister was doing lifebelt drill to the assembled passengers,  she did a great job putting  a lot of enthusiasm in to the demonstration, she got an excellent round of applause at the end, now I have to wonder if this was some sort of sign or personal message, anyway I took good notice and feel confident that should the need arise I can manage, I even remember where the little whistle is. Mad as a bat my sis was, but we all loved her.

The ship rolls a bit but I feel OK. Not many hardy souls in the recliners but in the morning the few of us there have bonded, like survivors of some great adversity, we are all brothers. I am reminded of the words of my brother in law, “Wise Wally” It will all be alright in the end, if it's not alright it can't be the end'

The tannoy is harping on about breakfast now,  I’m super starving but still not brave enough, when I was in chemist number 2 the assistant told me I should nibble ginger biscuits,  they would settle my stomach,  hurrah I have some, so have a  nibble,  seems odd not to be sharing them with two poodles.

Two weeks in to my 26 hour crossing I stagger outside, we really are rolling, the sky is blue and the sea is grey, I can see nothing, no land, no ships, the spray soaks me.  I have a “where am I “app on my tablet thingy, it says “don’t know”, I’ve never been this far out to sea and we are not in the bay of Biscay proper yet, I have to go and sit down, it makes you think how mariners of old found the courage to go off on long voyages,  could be that Mrs ancient mariner said something like, “shall we foster a fox terrier dear”?  And he said, “can’t just now, have to go on a long and dangerous voyage”, must stop thinking about the sea.

I know, I will write out a few key questions/statements in English and Spanish then when in Spain I can point to the relevant translation should I need to, problem is I’m not very inspired, I write down “where is the toilet please” and then “I have lost my little dog, he is a fox terrier with a limp and sticky up ears”.  I give up, partly because my experience from living in France taught me that it is one thing to ask a question, quite another to understand the answer